counseling in Uptown

The Platinum Rule: How to Enrich Your Intimate Relationships

75311440

Platinum is a symbol of true love, purity, rarity, and strength. These qualities of platinum are equivalent to the ideals of eternal true love, something couples strive for in their relationships.

We all want to connect in our intimate relationships, yet most of us have difficulty holding ourselves back when partners voice their frustration. Most people respond either by offering words of reassurance, try to solve the problem, or worst offer constructive criticism.

If you use one of the methods above, you wouldn’t be surprised if I say your partner’s response is not the one you might have been expecting. Your “help” might have not have landed the way you expected or had the effect you intended. Most people respond by feeling more irritable or frustrated than they were before they even shared their concerns.  

Working with numerous couples struggling in their relationships, I’ve learned empathy towards one another works best to build on intimacy and get more out of the relationship. First, I ask couples to commit to empathy before they verbally engage. As a relational therapist I lead with empathy in the room and then ask couples to use the same method and see how the partners respond.

gay-couples-around-the-world-6.jpg

Not that starting out with words of empathy, understanding and compassion will always work. There are times when nothing can. But particularly in troubling situations where the startup is likely to determine the outcome, there’s no safer way to open a discussion than seeking to genuinely “participate” in your partner’s state of mind. This is most effectively accomplished through accurately identifying with their feelings, whether they’ve been overtly stated or implied by language, facial expression, and tone of voice.

When your partner experiences that you’re sincerely making an effort to grasp where they’re coming from, the odds that they'll be more receptive to where you’re coming from. The strong desire to feel understood and non-judged increases emotional intimacy and connection in the relationship.

Healing  yourself  heals the relationship.

Healing yourself heals the relationship.

Feeling depressed? 7 Facts About Depression Treatment

pexels-photo-171296.jpg

Depression is something we all can experience, however if we don’t attend to some of the symptoms it can turn into a Major Depression and it can be a devastating—even life-threatening—condition.

Thousands of studies have examined what works in restoring hope and vitality. I've compiled 10 important facts about depression treatment, based on the latest research.

1. Psychotherapy, in particular Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and medication are equally effective in treating depression. Medication can help with severe depression even as much as CBT. 

2. Chronic and more severe depression responds better to a combination of medication and therapy. It can be more effective than meds alone, and medication adds additional benefits for those receiving weekly psychotherapy. For mild, non-chronic depression, therapy sessions typically work as well as the combination—and avoids the additional time, effort, cost, and side effects.

3. CBT is not the only type of talk therapy that works well in treating depression. There's growing evidence that short-term psychodynamic therapy is helpful as is a more general type of treatment called “ non directive supportive therapy.”

pexels-photo-1441151.jpg

4. Movement can release a lot of anxiety and tension in the body when youre feeling depressed. It doesn’t need to be rigorous exercise. A simple 30 minute walk can be a powerful antidepressant treatment. Researchers have found benefits of walking, jogging, running, resistance training, and other forms of movement.

5. Healthy eating may be an effective way to relieve depression based on a study from earlier this year. Educating people about better eating habits including increasing awareness of your choices could lead to big reductions in depression. Participants in the study were advised to increase consumption of vegetables, whole grains, legumes, healthy fats, and lean proteins, among other foods; and to reduce heavily processed and sugary foods, as well as alcohol.

6. Fewer relapses are supported when continuing psychotherapy services and practice the tools learned in treatment. Learned interventions such as “"aimed at cultivating positive feelings, positive behaviors, or positive cognitions” can relieve depression symptoms.

7. Mindfulness and its practice prevents depression relapse, particularly among those with 3 or more episodes of depression. Those who practice mindfulness skills were 34 percent less likely to relapse an effect that's comparable to staying on medication for depression.

Is it time today to take a step toward getting help? Maybe you have a loved one who's been struggling with depression. Consider talking with that person about looking into treatment options. Or perhaps you've been thinking about treatment yourself, and even have a recommendation for a provider from someone you trust but haven't yet made that call. Why not reach out right now? 

The information here is not intended as medical advice—talk to a healthcare professional you trust if you or a loved one needs help with depression.