Building a More Supportive Inner Voice About Your Body
Summer months can bring a renewed sense of energy and possibility. However, these warmer months can also stir up body image related concerns that can feel especially daunting for some. Summertime often means more social outings, more time outdoors, and more opportunities to compare our bodies to cultural ideals about how we believe we “should” look. The constant bombardment of marketing that targets getting “beach ready” or “summer fit” only increases the pressure.
If you’ve noticed your inner critic growing louder this time of year, you’re not alone. Both my clinical experience and research demonstrate that body image struggles often intensify during the summer months. Clothes tend to be more sparse and revealing, there’s increased focus on dieting and exercise, and more opportunities to feel like you’re not measuring up. For those who are already managing challenges like eating disorders, compulsive exercise, or substance use, this can lead to feelings of shame and increased avoidance behaviors.
It’s not uncommon to see overlaps between body image distress and addiction. Both can be fueled by efforts to regulate distressing feelings. We might see this through efforts to control food, chasing a desired physique, or numbing out with alcohol or other substances. When shame about our bodies meets the belief that we have to look a certain way to be accepted, it can push us toward extremes that feel temporarily soothing but ultimately deepen our anguish.
One of the most powerful antidotes to this cycle is to develop a more supportive inner voice about your body. This doesn’t mean forcing yourself to love every part of your appearance or ignoring the real struggles you face. Instead, it’s about practicing a way of relating to yourself that is honest, kind, more neutral, and grounded in respect.
Here are a few ideas to start building a more compassionate inner voice:
1. Notice the tone of your self-talk.
Start by bringing gentle awareness to how you speak to yourself about your body. You don’t have to change it right away. Simply observe. Are you harsh, demanding, or critical? Do you use words you’d never say to a friend? Noticing is a crucial first step.
2. Get curious about where your beliefs came from.
Many of us absorbed body-related messages early in life from our family members, peers, media, or sports. Reflect on who first taught you that your worth was tied to your appearance.. Understanding the origins of these beliefs can help loosen their grip.
3. Offer yourself language that feels more neutral or compassionate.
If positive affirmations feel inauthentic, that’s okay. Start with something believable. Instead of “I love my body,” try “This is the body I have today,” or “I am learning to treat my body with respect.” Even small shifts in language can disrupt your inner critic’s power.
4. Tune in to what your body does for you.
Consider the ways your body allows you to experience life. Maybe it’s hugging a loved one, watching a sunset, dancing, digesting food, carrying you through the day. Gratitude for your body’s function, rather than its appearance, can create a sense of appreciation and grounding.
5. Set boundaries with media and social comparison.
Notice what you consume online. Curate your feed to include accounts that support body diversity and mental health. Take breaks from content that activates shame or urges to control your body.
6. Reach out for support if you need it.
Body image struggles can feel isolating, particularly when they overlap with substance use or eating issues. If you notice that self-criticism is leading to harmful behaviors, consider talking with a therapist who understands the intersection of body image and addiction. You deserve care and support.
This summer, consider what it would mean to soften the edges of how you speak to yourself. What might change if your inner voice became less critical and more like a compassionate friend? You don’t have to love everything about your body to begin treating it—and yourself—with respect.
Gentleness is a brave and necessary practice.
Written by: Deahdra Bowier